Trigger warning: this article discusses predatory sexual behavior in outdoor sports

Melanie Hamlett, a Washington Post contributor recently wrote an article about dating in the climbing community. She did a follow-up TikTok that also addressed grooming and age gap relationships in climbing among other things. You can watch the video here. 

It inspired me to re-consider the following: What does predatory sexual behavior look like in outdoor sports?

Just a reminder, outdoor adventure sports aren’t the escape from daily life that we think they are. Our communities also deal with predatory sexual behavior and intimate partner violence. If you’re like me, you may have first approached adventure sports because you were looking for an escape, and, once you found it, you went through a honeymoon phase where the community could do no wrong. I disregarded just about every red flag for my first two years as a skydiver. Now, things look a little different.

According to an informal Melanin Base Camp Instagram poll, 46% of responders had a mentor or instructor try to date them when they were new to their sport. That’s almost 1 in 2. Surely this is worth talking about.

Disclaimer: I’m not a board-certified psychologist. I’m simply a person who has been around adventure sport communities for awhile: for 12 years as a skydiver and hiker and for 6.5 years as the founder of Melanin Base Camp. This is what I’ve observed. These red flags are not specific to any gender.

Here are 3 examples of predatory sexual behavior in outdoor sports:

The predatory instructor 

An instructor stands too close to a student they find attractive. They are a little too hands-on when there’s no reason for it; they make comments about their students’ physical appearance; they make adjustments when there’s no need; they “accidentally” brush their chest or butt. They sleep with their students instead of teaching them the skills they need to safely climb, skydive, mountain bike or paddle. Their predatory behavior makes them unqualified to instruct. They are jeopardizing the safety of all their students. Think of how many couples whose relationship began with an instructor asking out a student. This is pretty common in outdoor sports and it’s not okay. It’s predatory sexual behavior.

Green flags

Instructors who aren’t sexual predators will maintain a professional distance between themselves and the students whose safety they are responsible for. They don’t ask out individual students for drinks afterwards. They socialize with the other instructors or they socialize with the entire group. They don’t lead with their ego and they don’t prey on students. They recognize the vulnerability of being brand new in a high risk adventure sport—of being surrounded by older and more experienced athletes who will try to throw their weight around or make sexual demands of newer people. So they check their peers and look out for their students. 

The predatory mentor

A mentor, who is supposed to be teaching you important, lifesaving skills, asks you out. There is often a significant age or experience gap, leading to a power imbalance in the relationship—whether it’s casual or serious. Your mentor should be advising you and helping you make connections and skill progress—not trying to hook up with you. Their advice is no longer relevant—it most likely never was. They cannot sleep with you and give unbiased advice about whether you’re ready for a big destination climb or a high-risk exploratory whitewater or your first antenna BASE jump. If they are pursuing you sexually after agreeing to be your mentor, they are taking advantage of the fact that you respect and admire them. They don’t want a relationship with a social or technical peer, they want a relationship with someone they can control who will look up to them—so they can look down. That is not mutual respect or love; that is predatory sexual behavior. 

Green flags

Your mentor may be older but they don’t use their age or experience to pursue you sexually or to make sexual demands. They do not sleep with their mentees; they help them get connected, attend the right camps, obtain the right certifications and progress technically and socially. They are honest about the challenges you may face and they don’t gaslight. They aren’t friends with sexual predators and they don’t excuse grooming behavior or defend sexual predators once they’re unmasked by the community. 

The predatory ‘experienced’ friend

A more experienced “friend” who introduced you to the sport—a really solid person—is constantly asking you out for drinks after a long day of climbing, passing you another beer or joint around the bonfire, being your shoulder to cry on when you go through relationship issues, constantly hovering and waiting for you to be vulnerable so they can pressure you for sex (coercion) or take advantage of you once you’re incapacitated (rape). You think they’re a supportive friend; you think they are trustworthy; you’re grateful that they introduced you to the outdoors. In reality, they think that you owe them sex. They masquerade as a “nice person” and use their position to pressure you for sex. Yes, they’ve absolutely done this before to less experienced athletes. ‘Nice person’ status has its advantages and this is predatory sexual behavior.

Green flags 

Your experienced friend looks out for you. They give good advice about which courses to attend and which instructors to work with (or avoid). They help you steer clear of predatory mentors, coaches and guides. Your friend supports your goals and doesn’t make them for you; they are a good listener and offer advice when you need it. They’re working on their own progression, of course. The friendship doesn’t have a power imbalance even though you’re making novice mistakes in the gym and they’re preparing for a climbing/wingsuit BASE trip to Chamonix. There’s mutual respect. They don’t need you to worship or admire them. There’s mutual care and support. 

Hope this has been helpful. What other sexual predator red flags are you aware of in your outdoor community? Let us know.

Please Save This in Your Phone

National Sexual Assault Hotline (Confidential 24/7 Support): 1-800-656-4673

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233