The outdoor industry has spent hundreds of millions in marketing dollars to convince you that everyone belongs outside. That simply isn’t true. Some People of Color aren’t outside for very valid reasons.

Some don’t like the outdoors and that’s okay. They don’t need you to convert them. Unless, maybe, you’ve found the perfect beginner-friendly hike that ends in a waterfall and free universal healthcare. But failing that, here are eight reasons why you should leave your friends and family alone.

8. They have hobbies, the outdoors just isn’t one of them

It’s okay if you and your friends have separate hobbies. People can lead fulfilling lives without ever peakbagging or completing a destination hike. People of Color have all different kinds of interests that don’t require water-resistant shoes. It’s hard to believe but it’s true. If you’re lucky, your family will support your outdoor adventures even if they don’t feel the need to join you on them. And that’s okay.

I spent all of my 20s in denial about this. I also placed a lot of internal pressure on myself to curate fun, outdoor experiences for family members—experiences they did not want and did not ask for. Fortunately, they were patient with me. But I honestly felt selfish enjoying sunrise balloon jumps and sunset in the mountains without them. I wanted them to see Nature from my point-of-view and love it the way I did. I wanted them to have the opportunities that I had.

I think one reason I get so excited about hiking is because my relationship with the outdoors has mostly involved ‘play’ and ‘relaxation’ as an adult. Some of us occupy entirely different realities from our parents. For us, sleeping on the ground is an adventure. For them, sleeping on the ground is elective poverty and strange (or a bad memory). Why would they pay to do that?

7. They are tired and want to relax indoors

When I first graduated from college, my job involved a lot of mandatory time outdoors: sleeping under the stars, walking for miles in the freezing cold with a 50-lb pack, staying awake all night in the pouring rain. The last thing I wanted to do in my free time was go back into the woods. It didn’t care how beautiful the sunrise was at the local overlook. I wanted to rest my feet, enjoy the air conditioning in my apartment, and read a book—or maybe relax at a coffee shop in East Nashville and grab a drink in the Gulch with friends. The closest I came to violating this principle was coaching a youth running club after work. There were a few outdoorsy people in my office and, honestly, I thought they were a little weird. Who goes from spending most of the day on their feet to choosing to climb a mountain on the weekend for fun.

Like a lot of people, I didn’t see the point in paying money to be uncomfortable. Your friends and family might have additional reasons. According to market research from AARIS Composites, the “average American worker spends 56% of the day standing or walking.” That statistic climbs for retail workers, food service, and healthcare professionals. Think about the waiter at your favorite restaurant, the cashier at the gas station where you fill up and the barista at your local coffee shop who isn’t allowed to sit simply because their employer prefers them to stand. 

Standing-heavy jobs can lead to chronic pain and exhaustion. It can also cause individuals to cancel plans to exercise (70%) or socialize (58%). People are overworked and tired. If you are also tired and still want to hike, that’s great. But that’s not everybody. We deserve rest and climate-control.

6. They can’t afford out-of-pocket healthcare expenses

Some of your friends aren’t interested in hiking or climbing because they can’t afford to get hurt and miss work. They also can’t afford medical care.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “8.4% or 27.6 million Americans of all ages did not have health insurance in 2022”. In the same period, 27.6% of Hispanic adults, 13.3% of Black adults and 7.1% of Asian adults were uninsured. These are actually record lows but they don’t tell the whole story. Out-of-pocket costs for medical care and prescription drugs have skyrocketed, making actual medical care unaffordable for many—even if they are insured.

According to José A. Pagán, professor and chair of the Department of Public Health Policy and Management at the NYU School of Global Public Health, “People with health insurance coverage provided by employers generally think they are protected, but our findings show that health-related benefits have been eroding over time.”  A 2020 National Health Interview Survey conducted by the CDC also reported that “women with employer-sponsored insurance found all types of health care services to be less affordable than men.” Those services included medical care, dental care, prescription drugs and mental health.

Being uninsured or underinsured is a good reason to stay indoors. A sprained ankle or pulled muscle might not impact your ability to do your job. It may not affect your access to employment-based insurance. It might not worry you at all. That may be because you have a job that allows you to work from your couch, a hospital bed or the ergonomic chair in your living room. Or maybe you would never dream of using GoFundMe to cover out-of-pocket medical costs. Good for you. Enjoy your hike.

5. They can’t afford to drive

Wait, what do you mean? Don’t 91.7% of American households own at least one car, according to the U.S. Census Bureau? Yep. But owning a car and affording the car you own are two different things. 

In 2023, AAA reported that car ownership now costs Americans $12,182 annually in maintenance and financing. That’s up 14% from 2022 when Americans spent $10,728 annually on car costs. Why so high? Well, the sticker price of a new vehicle has skyrocketed to an average of $34,876–and that impacts financing (They’re also depreciating faster, despite being bigger, more luxurious and loaded with high tech features). 

Your friend or family member may have a car that they can barely afford to make payments on, fill up or maintain. According to the Consumer Price Index, car repair costs rose 20% in 2023—“more than six times the national inflation rate and among the largest annual price increases of any household good or service.” Why? Due to reasons like supply chain issues, high tech features, fewer auto technicians and—wait, you don’t care about that. You just want your friend to join you on a weekend trip to Yosemite, or to Joshua Tree, or to section hike the Presidential Range before the snow falls. Well, they can’t. 

They will be at home, or grocery shopping, or taking their kid to a playdate—performing social obligations they can’t get out of. But they won’t be doing a weekend hiking trip they didn’t budget for when their car is months overdue for an oil change and a new air filter. Unless you’re driving and paying for gas. Put that Venmo/Cash App away. Next trip is on you.

4. They don’t want to get their hair wet

We’ve all been there. You want your friend to check out this amazing hot spring you found on TikTok. It’s just a 45 min drive and 4.5 mile hike away. You know your friend will love it. Except they won’t. They’re not going. They don’t want to get their hair wet. And you don’t understand why! You love swimming in alpine lakes, soaking in hot springs and checking out local swimming holes. You love the water and you assumed your friend did too. You double tapped every beach pic from their last trip home to Trinidad and they looked super cute. But your friend says it’s not the same and you don’t understand why. Maybe you feel a little hurt.

Listen, I’m not sure how to break it to you as an adult, but not everyone likes getting their hair wet on short notice, for cultural reasons. Some of us have beautiful braided hairstyles that required 4-10 hrs of fasting (or secretly snacking on hot cheetos) and holding our pee while sitting in an uncomfortable salon chair. We are not going to ruin our goddess knotless braids for you and that’s okay. We’re not going to ruin our silk press. Just let us be cute and navigate the outdoors or indoors on our own terms. You have never been judged for wearing a messy bun and sweats in public, whereas we get judged by everyone every time we step out of the damn house.

My wash day is every two weeks and it takes me .5 hrs to untwist with help, 2 hrs to wash and condition my hair with help, and another 4-5 hrs to oil and retwist on my own. I’m not recreating that ordeal for you just because you want me to get my hair wet. I’m sticking to my schedule.

Your friend doesn’t have to either. If they say they don’t want to get their hair wet, respect that.

3. They don’t have the money

We like to pretend that being outside doesn’t cost a thing. And it’s weird. Stop that.

We don’t talk enough about financial privilege in the outdoors. Statements like “the outdoors is free” and “the outdoors is for everyone” are deceptive. They’re well intentioned but they also invalidate the experience of most people living in the U.S. who don’t have thousands to spend on outdoor apparel, gear, and trips to national parks. They don’t even have hundreds of dollars. They have credit card debt and student loan debt and a car note. If they have a kid and parents with no retirement savings they may literally be working to support three generations.

The national median household income in the U.S. is $74,580. Fifty percent of households make more than that and 50% make less. That figure increases for Asian ($108,700) and White ($77,250) households and decreases for Hispanic/Latino ($62,800) and Black ($52,860) households. The average American cardholder has $5,733 in credit card debt. Gen Z (18-29 yr olds) credit card debt is lower ($2,900) than the national average and Millennial (30-39 yr olds) credit card debt is higher ($5,800). 

On top of that, your bed rotting friends may be focused on repaying student loan debt. In a 2022 Federal Reserve Survey, Black college graduates averaged $53,430 in student loan debt and made the highest monthly payments ($250) compared to $46,140 owed by white college graduates and $26,460 owed by Hispanic college graduates. A U.S. Department of Education study found that, among federal student loan borrowers, Asian college graduates owed $49,100 on average and Native American/Alaska Native graduates owed $36,900. 

Do you get the point? Everyone owes money. When you factor in racial and gender wage gaps—which are most severe for Black and Hispanic women, repaying student loans is harder for some than others.

Why do we pretend that the outdoors costs nothing—that you are required to bring nothing but yourself? Then in the next breath we shame hikers who don’t bring reusable water bottles, moisture wicking technical clothing, wool base layers, wind and water resistant shells, puffers, GPS, a trail map subscription with downloaded maps, a paper map and compass, etc.

There are people who do attempt to “come as they are”, and they are absolutely dragged for it—for not being safe, for not bringing the ten essentials, for being a danger to themselves and others (rescuers), for being “idiots.” The comments on social media are vicious.

It’s winter now and social media is full of photos and videos of happy people skiing, snowshoeing, tubing and snowboarding. It’s a magical time of year, but it’s important to remember all of that costs money. Gear rentals cost money. So do lift tickets, season passes, day passes, lessons, helmets, goggles, base layers, bibs, insulated pants, gore-tex jackets, gloves, etc. Maybe we should stop acting like we manifested the outdoorsy life of our dreams when in reality we spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars. A little financial transparency wouldn’t hurt.

2. They don’t have access to safe local parks

But what’s that? Stay local, you say? Glad you mentioned that because not everyone has access to safe local green spaces. Only 39% of Americans live within a half mile of a local park according to a 2017 study by the CDC and National Park Service. That number drops to 30% in the South. A 2021 report commissioned by the White House found that “100 million Americans do not have an accessible park within a ten-minute walk of their homes.” 

For those who do, it’s important to remember that not all parks are created equal. Segregation has had long-lasting effects in most U.S. cities and towns. According to the Trust for Public Land, parks in neighborhoods of color are half the size of parks in majority-white neighborhoods—while serving 5x the population. They also found that parks in low-income neighborhoods are, on average, one-fourth the size of parks in high-income neighborhoods. Sidenote: I also really want to know who has sidewalks in their town? Sidewalks in residential areas are not a universal thing—especially in the South, and that includes wealthier neighborhoods. Hats off to those of you getting your steps in after work while dodging your neighbor’s Chevy Silverado with the 6” BDS lift kit. No he can’t see you, stay safe.

If you live in a neighborhood with too-wide streets, too few curb cuts and not enough crosswalks; if you live in a neighborhood with barely any traffic calming measures; if you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe walking to an itty-bitty local park, it can probably be frustrating to hear strangers online, or even well-meaning friends tell you that you just need to get outside. They clearly don’t get it.

For whatever reason, they have unrealistic expectations about your access to Nature. Or maybe they just assume everyone lives in a leafy, middle-class neighborhood with a Whole Foods down the street, protected bike lanes, local trails, a greenway, or maybe even a lakefront view. That sort of snap-your-fingers, instant access to nature is expensive. Not everyone can afford it.

1. They just don’t like being outside

It’s okay if your friends or family don’t like being outside. Maybe they don’t like insects, or humidity, or getting dirty for personal reasons. Maybe, they are culturally conditioned to not like those things from centuries of people who look like them being called “dirty”, “unkempt”, “unclean” and compared to animals. You see how everything comes back to racism, right? Maybe they feel like they always have to present a hyperfeminine version of themselves, due to centuries of being stereotyped as “hypermasculine”—all for the crime of having dark skin. And that feminine version might require a full set, falsies, a 30” buss down and climate-control. Let them be. Wow, it’s weird how racism and misogyny intersect. I bet someone even came up with a term for that…

Anyways, it’s important not to kidnap your friends or lure them outside under false pretenses. I say this because I’ve done it. I have been that obnoxious person. There are so many valid reasons why your friends and family don’t want to join you outside. It doesn’t mean you should ask them repeatedly until they give in—well, maybe, just every once in a while in case they change their mind.

Here’s the thing…

You may have noticed that most of these reasons have more to do with capitalism and racism and less to do with personal choice. And you’d be right. How are we supposed to live, laugh, love under these conditions?—when our government thinks corporations are people and people are expendable. The next time a U.S. company wants to create a marketing campaign around getting people outside, maybe you should ask yourself what that company is doing to pay their employees a living wage (or are they closing stores as part of a union-busting strategy)?

And if you truly believe everyone belongs outdoors, you should advocate for policies that support that, like free universal healthcare, free higher education, childcare subsidies and student loan forgiveness. You should care about closing racial and gender wage gaps. You should care about green streets, walkable cities and neighborhood parks. Or, you know, keep guilt-tripping your friends and family. Maybe that will work.