This message is for Black women and femmes:

With everything going on right now, our body’s response is to hold all that tension and stress in our clenched jaw, neck, shoulders, and back. If you’re suddenly dealing with headaches, irritability, anger or profound sadness and despair—you are not alone. Third party votes by disillusioned leftists and Arab Americans did not cost the election, but America’s massive shift to the right—fueled by white men, white women and rising conservatism among non-Black people of color did. And all of that hurts. It’s understandable. 

This isn’t the time to grab a mediocre Starbucks coffee while you doomscroll reaction videos of white leftists gloating online. Not that you would; literally no one I know in real-life would do that—apart from rage bait content creators. That’s the great thing about Black women. We vote as a bloc and our progressive values tend to be in sync—regardless of whether we personally identify as religious or non-religious; fiscally conservative or fiscally liberal; feminists or womanists or none-of-the-above. I love that about us. We are nothing if not a consistently reliable presence in liberation movements around the world. 

However, it’s time to rest. To confront our burnout by putting down the work. The liberation movements we belong to are not a short term thing. They will occupy our entire lives, and possibly the lives of our children and their children. The work is never done. So rest for a time. And recharge, until hope feels more tangible. 

How to rest:

6. Go to the mountains

This isn’t possible for the majority of us. We live in cities and mostly aren’t able to disappear to the mountains for a few days to unwind on the slopes, switchbacks, or single track. We work jobs that often pay less than living wages, we spend too much of our paycheck on rent and utilities and we juggle multiple side hustles. Many of us get by without medical or dental insurance, while donating to families in Gaza, protesting police brutality, boycotting pro-genocide companies, volunteering in our communities, and supporting mutual aid and bail funds. 

The stress we face and carry in our bodies is immense. Even though this isn’t possible for most, we deserve more time in Nature. We deserve limited cell service and time away from our phones. We deserve mountains, fresh air, alpine lakes and physical challenges that temporarily free us from mental ones. 

We’re expected to just get over our grief but I’m not sure how another day at the office or in retail or in food service is going to achieve that. To all the white women who took time off while ignoring the impact that Trump’s win has had on the Black community—I see you. To Black women: please take time off, if you can.

5. Take time off

This also isn’t a reality for the majority of us—and, even when it is, many of us won’t because our time off impacts other people’s work schedules and Black women are nothing if not considerate of the needs of the group. We think about the most marginalized always. 

The day after the election, I went to a medical appointment and chatted with my doctor who happens to be a Black woman. We spoke about our disappointment and grief. She also mentioned that several doctors had called out and she had desperately wanted to do the same but hadn’t. Why? Because calling out would impact her patients, some of whom had waited months for the visit. And it would impact the schedulers who are all underpaid Black women in entry-level positions. She later mentioned that the doctors who called out were all white. I already knew this—she didn’t have to tell me. Do you see why many Black women haven’t taken off? There’s something about being socialized as a Black woman that keeps you hyper aware of other people’s burdens and how your actions lessen or contribute to them. 

I love that about us. But it also makes me sad. If you can’t take time off to care for yourself try this:

4. Stay off social media

If you’re already following this advice, you probably won’t see this message and that’s a good thing. The Meta and TikTok algorithms are amplifying the worst kind of ragebait: leftists who are happy about Kamala’s loss and indifferent to the impact of a Trump presidency on Gaza (because that was never the goal); people of all races threatening to call ICE on Trump Latinos; Black women with Starbucks coffee; and far too many people who don’t give a fuck about the genocide in Congo and never will. It’s a mess. Stay off social media or try to limit your scrolling. If you have an iPhone (yes I understand the irony), go to Settings/Focus to customize your Do Not Disturb, Sleep and Work hours to limit notifications from certain apps, like Instagram and TikTok. 

If you can’t limit your access to social media for whatever reason, consider this: social media lacks nuance. In reality, unlike social media, multiple things can be true at once.

3. Hold multiple truths at once 

You’re a Black woman so you’re probably already doing this. You can feel sadness and grief and “step away” while knowing there’s still work to be done. You can feel hurt at the lack of POC solidarity, knowing that Arab American third party voters didn’t throw the election — the rise in racist, conservative voters did. You can hold onto your beliefs and still acknowledge your need for rest, recovery and joy. Lean into that. Take care of yourself. The world absolutely will not. It will run you ragged and demand so much of you without giving anything in return. It will demand you exhaust yourself—not of everyone—but Black women specifically.  A final example of multiple things being true: liberation movements can be absolutely necessary and still deeply misogynistic and anti-Black. This misogynoir exists in every liberation movement and it’s one reason why you feel so deeply tired all the time—but especially now. POC solidarity is a myth, but you already knew that. 

POC groups, while important, are not enough. You need community with other Black women who look like you and who share your values.

2. Build community with other Black women

Hopefully you’re doing this already but, if not, here’s why you should. POC solidarity looks a little frayed around the edges right now. That’s because it has always been more aspirational than reality. Until the anti-Blackness within it is addressed, it is important for you to have community with other Black women and nonbinary femmes. Most (not all) are capable of holding space for one another, even if we have different beliefs. My family and friends alone contain non-voters, pro-Kamala voters, and reluctant pro-Kamala voters. We all hold space for one another. We have similar values in that we are anti-oppression, anti-genocide and pro-liberation—even if we have very different perspectives on how to get there. We are pro-Black, pro-LGBTQ and pro-woman; the only figurative tide that lifts all boats. We care deeply about our communities and are a safe space for discussions about how anti-Blackness, colorism, misogynoir, and queerphobia affect our lives. We care more about each other than we do about pretending to be ideologically pure while living at the heart of western empire. So basically, the opposite of performative.

Find a group of other Black women and femmes where you feel safe to be yourself. Heavy on that second part. You deserve rest and that means having access to friends who don’t require you to mask, code switch, or perform. So please don’t neglect this part of you. 

1. Focus on what you can control

We can’t control the actions of other people. We can protest, boycott and build community alongside other people of color, hoping that they’ll have our backs the way we have theirs, but that isn’t a given. And even if they do, their parents, siblings, extended family most likely won’t. Anti-Blackness and misogynoir are deeply enmeshed in U.S. society after all and, unless they are Black or Indigenous, their families likely immigrated–which comes with its own bizarre experience of indoctrination, assimilation and internalized racism. 

It can feel like we’re facing an overwhelming tide of people who think their communities deserve human rights while ours doesn’t, and that is discouraging. It’s also outside of our control. I’m not saying give up. I am saying, at least for a little while, focus on what you can control, which are your own thoughts, actions and beliefs. Liberation movements are marathons, not sprints. So take a moment to reset and turn inward. Tune out everyone else and make sure you are giving yourself what you need, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Journal, drink tea, practice deep breathing, go on mental health walks, join a run club, watch cooking videos, or Sailor Moon and focus on you and your family. You deserve as much!